I could share numerous stories like this one, including my own tales of great expectations and equally great disappointments. We are all seeking profound societal change and a great ecological turnaround, and we have many ideas about how that should happen. When our attempts fail, it happens for a reason: life always teaches us. But what, exactly?

I followed that question, pondering my own experiences. The answer was straightforward: my past attempts failed due to a misunderstanding of transformation and our role in it: we are not here to create transformation. Transformation just happens naturally. We are here to support and further the transformation, and our main task is to listen and learn.

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The art of transformational listening

Listening is the deliberate act of thrusting aside all our internal occupations and opening ourselves to the unheard.

We turn towards ourselves, cutting through the noise of our thinking, judging, and reacting, to get right to the source of our emotions. We are present to what wants to be realized through us. Listening, we seek to discover what life is asking of us.

By doing so, we are clearing our internal space. That allows us to listen to the infinite intelligence, understand our overarching duty and the imminent task. We create space for the unknown, and be able to channel our learning into our environment and our community. We have to be clear and empty before we look to the world to change.

Transformative learning

We can transform everything if we allow ourselves to be transformed. That’s the art of transformative learning. In the case of community-building, we have to listen to the community in all its dimensions to perceive what’s there:

• What wants to be?

• What needs to be faced?

• What’s ignored, suppressed, or marginalized?

We have to turn towards the difficulties, the muck, and not shy away. We have to turn toward things we do not understand, listening to the question life is asking us, and patiently wait for the answer.

I have seen people fail too often, like my colleague, acting with great commitment and care, frustrated that things didn’t unfold as she expected. Life is clear and precise in its answers. It shows us whether we are on the right track, listening carefully, able to read the signs and act with integrity. If things do not turn out that way, it’s not time to drop out and turn away. It’s time to stay, hold all those difficult emotions, and learn to listen. Eventually, we’ll get it right.

To meet our challenges, we need different communities

Once you become a parent, you realize you need another social network. The massive transformation from being a couple to being a family touches almost all aspects of your life. And that internal change needs an external change, too: the friend overseas you used to talk to frequently won’t be able to hold your baby when you need an urgent nap.

Humanity is in the midst of a similar transformation, one that touches all aspects of our lives and demands another form of community. Climate change dramatically alters our landscape in some areas. This has a local effect, touching communities and economies, and also a global one, altering agriculture and food production, chains of production, global trade, and policy making. Our current economic model, with high international dependencies, simply falls apart, and with it, the political sphere that’s built upon that economy.

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Now, societally, we aren’t able to deal with that. Our political systems are incapable of creating a shared understanding and finding solutions; instead, they create more problems. Our social fabric creates dependence, sickness, and helplessness instead of agency and self-leadership.

Three essential criteria for community-building

In this situation, we have a choice. We can wait until we are forced to act, or we can deliberately prepare ourselves and create new communities that differ from existing ones in three essential ways:

1. They are transformative. Those communities are a place to experiment, because we will need to find new ways of learning, working, making decisions, and producing food, and new ways of creating a culture of agency, self-leadership, and curiosity.

2. They are healing, both for nature and for us. They regenerate nature by shifting our worldview from one of scarcity to one of abundance, and they help us heal ourselves by overcoming our fragmentation, polarization, and collective trauma.

3. They are integrating local communities, built with and among the people who share a place and a time, built on difference and diversity, allowing anyone to follow their own path and their true calling.

The task ahead

Humanity can create intentional communities around a belief or an idea. But we have yet to create intentional communities that go beyond exclusion and integrate everyone who’s there. That’s the task ahead, and it’s an excellent opportunity for individuals, communities, and humanity to thrive.

All should be called for counsel, because the Lord often revealeth to the younger what is best.
Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter III

Being unique is challenging. But our uniqueness is a vital element that can help us solve the situation humanity is facing.

Why should we appreciate our uniqueness at all?

Understanding why and how you are unique unlocks your power. This understanding emphasises your strengths and abilities, giving you purpose, meaning, and direction.

It creates inner freedom and independence. Once you know yourself, you don’t need to rely on the opinions and appreciation of others. You can locate your worth inside yourself.

It allows you to tap into your creativity and intuition, the wellspring for action and problem-solving.

Being unique allows you to shift from a life of fear and scarcity to one of abundance. And this goes beyond you; the more we celebrate and empower the uniqueness of everyone, the further humanity shifts towards the richness of life.

St. Benedict knew about the importance of every person in a congregation. In the challenges and questions we have to face, it might be you to whom the divine reveals the truth.

Why is being unique a challenge?

Being unique is a threat to our societies and culture.

Once you recognize your own singularity, you understand that every living being is unique. Once you know how precious your own life is, you realize that every life is precious. That itself is inconsistent with a society built upon ostracism and exclusion, which carries the idea that to be a part of society, one has to prove one’s usefulness.

Together with agency, uniqueness has the potential to shake our current power structure and demand the shift from power-over to power-to. It requests a social fabric that empowers everyone instead of asking them to obey and toe the line, a fabric that recognises the participation and contribution of all are vital in creating resilient, integrated communities and societies.

What can we do about it?

The first and most important thing you can do is discover your uniqueness and allow it to unfold. Celebrate and enjoy the fact that you are alive, special, and precious.

From there, create space for others to discover and celebrate their uniqueness. Every encounter is a decision to create an empowering, nourishing relationship for all concerned.

Use technology differently. Most of our daily technology and tools are made to make us addicted and dependent; they draw our energy. Changing your relationship with technology will give you space, power, and freedom.

Raise your children in a way that invites them to discover their uniqueness and allows them to uncover and try out their potential and strengths. Invite them to think on their terms, to scrutinize, and to get to the bottom of the things that matter to them, even if that may lead them to question you.

Change work into something that creates agency—your own and that of everyone who is touched by it. Lead as an invitation to self-responsibility and self-leadership.

Our path unfolds beneath our feet. Caring about one's own uniqueness and that of others is a journey—a journey into the wildness, the beauty, and the power of life. Enjoy it, it's precious.

Communities: the center of transformation

We typically view communities as groups of people gathering around a common interest, goal, or belief. However, the communities we need to create are different: they are local communities defined by place—communities that welcome diversity, difference, and variety. Only these local communities can be truly resilient. They can help their members navigate upheavals, find and share purpose and meaning, and build strong and nourishing relationships. Only these communities can understand and harness the unique power of their local histories and traditions to create a new form of indigenous wisdom. It is these communities that serve as seeds for greater transformation by gradually influencing and shaping the society in which they are embedded.

Agriculture and food production

Our nutrition connects our own health with the health of the planet, and any change we make in our food production will affect both. Changing our food system has the potential to help regenerate nature while making us healthier, building our resilience, creating meaningful work, and building local and regional networks.

Three aspects of food production are central:

1. Repositioning farming with a focus on organic and permaculture, using local seeds, and restoring farming traditions to rebuild healthy soil and biodiversity.

2. Deindustrializing food production will make food healthier, help people reconnect with nature, and make food production a central part of the local economy.

3. And as we are bodily and spiritual creatures, food can connect us with other forms of nourishment that are equally important. Restoring the spiritual dimension of our lives will help us build our societies on healthy paradigms and create an integrated humanity.

Urban development

City and regional planning is based on destructive economic terms, creating spaces and structures that destroy and disconnect us from nature, build unhealthy and unliveable areas, create tension and problems in communities, and destroy agency and participation. Being able to take care of and shape the place where we live and the development of the neighborhood is central to agency and creativity. It is a way to foster and develop strong communities, to help people understand and navigate the current situation and the changes we have to face. It will unleash an unknown transformational power. Once people realize how far their agency can reach, they will shape and change their lives in ways they never considered before.

Education

It takes a village to raise a child. We need to turn back to this insight, as it is not only the child who thrives. Done properly, the village will thrive, too. Creating communities where our children can self-direct their learning, where they are invited to discover their talents and abilities, dreams, and potential, will alter the lives of everyone who takes part in that journey. Raising our children invites us to free ourselves from dysfunctional beliefs and patterns.
We must alter our understanding of education and learning structures, and implement approaches like community-embedded learning (→ link).

Economy

We need to build an economy that serves the community. This is contrary to our current situation, where the economy is shaping communities and societies to its own advantage. This shift requires a new understanding of the economy itself as one that creates abundance both for humans and nature, instead of one that is built upon the extraction of natural resources and creates lack as the main driver for economic growth. The new economy will create local cycles, different money systems, and a different understanding of work, sense-making, and craftsmanship.

None of these areas are isolated from the other, nor can they be treated separately. Everything is deeply interconnected. Community-embedded learning is based upon and works within a local economy, which farming and food production are part of. Farming itself, brought back into communities, will alter urban development and the communities themselves. And so on.

Whatever action you take will affect at least three of these areas. You can use the Five Dimensions Of Transformational Work to understand the connections and explore the possibilities. But the most important things is to simply start. Everything will fall in place once you take the first step. With that in mind, let's begin together.

Further Readings:

1. What is it that we are facing?

2. What extraordinary opportunities lie within our situation?

3. What actions must we take to seize those opportunities and solve the challenges?

Ever thought about how feelings feel? That might seem like a strange question. Most of the time, we notice our feelings without truly feeling them. But all our sensations have a location in our body; they have a shape, a dynamic, and sometimes even a color. These properties can help us understand the messages behind our feelings.

Feelings are messengers. We typically feel discomfort, stress, or bewilderment if change is required. This five-step guide will help you use your emotions as a navigational aid, allowing you to understand your deepest drives and step into the transformational power that lies within. Try it out with a small, maybe personal situation. Once you’ve adapted to it, use it to ask yourself what kind of societal change you want to create.

Step 1: Dive into the situation

Create a safe space where you can work undisturbed. Relax. If you find visual aids useful, perhaps have a pen and a piece of paper to hand.
Think of a situation where you felt uncomfortable, when you wanted to hide, leave, or change. Allow your feelings to arise.

Step 2: Locate your feeling and connect with it

Stay calm and observe what kind of thoughts and feelings arise. If a particular feeling is more intense, focus on that. Where is it located in or around your body? How does it feel? What shape, form, and color does it have? Invite it in and connect with that feeling.

Step 3: Ask yourself

Hold that connection and ask yourself: what do I want to create? Or: what do I want to change? Be patient. Let the answers arise at their own pace. If you have lost your connection to your feelings, gently begin again and reconnect.

Step 4: Ask yourself again

After a while, the emergence of answers will slow down. Take a break. And then ask yourself: given all that has arisen, what do I want to create? What do I want to change? Repeat this step until you have gained clarity. You will recognize this by the power of your answer.

Step 5: Ask for the first step

Once you know what you are being called to change or create, take a moment to turn towards yourself in silence. Connect with your self, and then ask: what’s the first step towards making this happen? Wait for the answer. Act.

Sometimes, we already have an idea of what we want to change, but most often this idea is either too vague or simply borrowed from someone else. Sometimes, we just complain about a situation without really understanding what it is we want to change.

This method helps you to get beyond your typical thought patterns in order to delve deeper.

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It’s also good for working in pairs, where one is the explorer while the other helps her navigate those questions. In this case, as a facilitator, be aware not to be pushy, to react to what the explorer shares, or to ask other questions. The responsibility for the process is always with the explorer, not the facilitator.

1. What do I want to change?

2. What do I want to create?

3. What is truly possible?

To answer them, simply follow this easy seven-step method.

1. Create a space and find your spot

Make yourself a space in a room, ideally giving yourself a few square meters, and mark the corners. You’ll need a few pieces of card or small sheets of paper and a thick pencil. Now enter this space and find the place where you feel most comfortable. Now mark that spot with a card labelled “I”.

2. Find three spots, one for each question

Now, find a spot for each question, and let your body and your intuition guide you. Mark each spot with a card that has the relevant question written on it.

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3. Let the insights arise

Walk between those spots. Take your time, stay with them, and wait for the answers to arise. Note them down. Change places, continuing this process. Do this for as long as required, until the process comes to a natural end.

4. The fourth and the fifth spot: universe and nature

Find two additional spots, one for universal intelligence and one for nature.

5. Continue exploring

With those additional perspectives, follow your inner conversation like you did in step three. Visit all the marked spots, not only the fourth and fifth ones. Let those new perspectives change your previous realizations. Do this until once again the process comes to its natural end.

6. Ask for the next step

Go to the spot for universal intelligence and ask for the next steps you should take. Wait patiently until the answer arises within you. Be aware of your ego and your emotions, as they might disturb your communication with your inner voice.

7. Closing

Go to the first spot, the “I”. Let the whole process of moving between each spot take place once again. Think about how you experienced it in the beginning: what changed?

This method is based on the work of James Lawley and Marian Way. More on this: James Lawley, Marian Way. (2017) INSIGHTS IN SPACE. How to use Clean Space to solve problems, generate ideas and spark creativity. Portchester, Fareham. Or visit: https://cleanlanguage.com/

1. What do I want to change?

2. What do I want to create?

3. What is truly possible?

1. What do I want to change?

Our most efficient actions arise from a deep internal impulse, an expression of our soul. We need to clarify that impulse and not let it be clouded by ideas and beliefs belonging to our ego or our past. We must aim to be aligned with the universe, because we are a unique expression of infinite intelligence. So this first question will guide us to that which we really care about.

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2. What do I want to create?

Knowing what to change is one thing, but it doesn’t answer what you want to achieve. What do you want to create? This question gives you direction and strength, and it tells you something important about the paradigms and premises you have to establish.

3. What is truly possible?

We are always limited in our beliefs about what we can change and achieve, and what is possible. Our true power lies beyond those limitations, so we have to constantly question ourselves and invite ourselves to transcend them into the realm of the possible, and arrive on unfamiliar ground.

What are your answers?

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All challenges are gateways to transformation and growth. Though we may not realize it, crises come with everything it takes to solve them. This principle applies when you face a personal crisis, if your organization is on the brink, and when we confront the crises humanity faces right now. We must understand this in order to utilize the gifts of each crisis and solve the situation.

Regarding what we have to face as humans, four specific opportunities lie ahead.

Personal

More or less every one of us is, in a way, traumatized or sick, and this blocks our path to fulfilling our potential and gaining agency. We carry the weight of generations before us. We have our own restricting experiences, beliefs, and paradigms, and we are unable to move beyond them and find our true selves. Our crises are the gateway to profound healing at all levels. They point to what we are meant for here on earth. And they show us how to realize this potential. A rich, fulfilling, and vibrant life awaits us.

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Natural

In becoming alienated from nature, we carried out enormous ecological destruction to the extent that it threatened our survival. We have the chance to regenerate nature globally by entering into a new relationship with it, one where we realize our interconnectedness with all living beings. Indigenous people not only show how that’s possible; above all, they show that we all carry that wisdom within us. We have to expose it. This will be a journey of healing for both nature and us.

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Societal

Our societies are based on control and power. Both are the cause of our own destruction and that of nature. By understanding and utilizing our crises, we can create societies geared toward inner growth and potential. They will foster agency and everyone’s power. We will manifest a nourishing, healthy, supportive social fabric that gives freedom to everyone.

Spiritual

We are caged in our material world, in the realm of neediness, lack, and insignificance, simply because we separated ourselves from the infinite intelligence we are embedded in. This separation is the source of the fragmentation and alienation that underpins our lives, just below the level of our awareness. Our crises invite us to overcome that separation and turn our lives towards abundance, connectedness, and contentedness. We can reconnect to the One and experience being guided and carried. We can discover what it means to be an active creator of that infinite intelligence.

That’s what lies ahead of us. We have the choice: will we carry in crisis and continue experience that aspect of human possibility? Or do we turn around, turn towards ourselves, and realize another aspect of our reality? This cannot be accomplished at the snap of our fingers. The path is rich and rewarding, no matter how far we can go. How to embark on that path is explored in the last part of this series.

Read the whole series “The Chance of Our Lifetime”. The opening two parts described the crises we are navigating and illustrated the change we could create. The third section explain how to achieve that change.

We plan, God laughs. (Yiddish proverb)

This moment is unique in what it offers us as humans. To grasp this opportunity we must act, and we should do so wisely. The transformative framework will guide us through the changes ahead. It consists of the five dimensions of transformational work, the four principles, and listening as the essential skill.

Welcome to the last part of this series, entitled The Chance of Our Lifetime. The opening two parts described the crises we are navigating and illustrated the change we could create. This third section will explain how to achieve that change.

The five dimensions of transformational work

We want profound societal change to create a humanity at one with nature. This work unfolds in five dimensions. Taking care of them all will help us fulfil the potential of every transformation.

The first dimension is the personal: fall in love with yourself

We are the start and end points of every transformation: our inner work leads to outer impact. This inner work has four aspects:

1. The gift we embody: we are unique and must understand our uniqueness to step into our power. What are we here for, and how do we want to pursue our dreams?

2. Knowing and working with our limitations. They are the raw material for connecting with ourselves and discovering our true voice.

3. Our consciousness and the task of expanding our minds and our thoughts.

4. We need to understand our role as humans, how our inner lives are connected to reality, and how our consciousness creates our world.

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The second dimension is ecological: reconnect with nature

We see ourselves as being in control of nature. We separate ourselves from nature and from ourselves. This separation is the source of the ecological and societal destruction we enact. We must turn the relationship with our human nature and the environment around us into a nourishing and caring partnership. Nature is life-giving and life-preserving; we can benefit from and take part in that support.

We must give nature the space to regenerate and heal. We have to foster diversity. By doing this, we can create resilience that will help us navigate the climatic and environmental changes that lie ahead.

Society is the third dimension, and it’s about fostering agency

We have created societies that hold us in the prison of our smallness and neediness. While our inner work is the personal key to transformation, changing our societal structures is the collective key, and both are connected. Societal work, just like personal work, encompasses four aspects:

1. How we raise our children through childcare, schooling, and the adolescence we help to create. We must reorganize this according to our nature as social creatures instead of aligning it with technical possibilities. We have to focus on agency—even a toddler is self-driven and empowered. We have to nourish everyone’s intrinsic motivation and focus our support on independence and self-leadership.

2. How we organize our decision-making in the political sphere, again focusing on agency and full participation so that everyone can fulfil their potential.

3. In economics we have to relocalize and create resilient and integrative structures.

4. Our built environment. The spaces where we live, work, travel, relax, and recover. They fundamentally shape our daily lives and relationships with ourselves, nature, families, and communities. They are part of the toxic culture we have created. Building differently will open our minds and create different societies.

Our communities are the fourth dimension: connecting through difference

Returning from a fragmented and polarized state means returning to communities. In humanity at one with nature, communities are the building blocks of our lives and a great learning area. They are the place where we can relearn to connect, where we can heal, and where we can learn to hold each other’s differences, values, identities, cultures, and experiences.

A child’s development evolves in the tension of being held, attached, and gaining freedom, autonomy, and agency. Our communities will have to maintain the delicate balance that parents achieve, constantly negotiating the participation and freedom of all their members.

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The underlying paradigms are the last dimension: we have to change the storyline

Underlying principles and paradigms govern everything we do. So, the fifth dimension is about both understanding and shaping paradigms. We have to understand the current paradigms and how they work, in order to change them. We have to make things transparent, as we can only change those we face.

Specifically, this means changing our understanding and use of power, from “power over” to “power to”. We must find our way from fragmentation to integration, and from being separated to understanding that we are interconnected with every living being.

The four principles of transformational work

While the five dimensions of transformative work give you an understanding of where to work and what to keep in mind, the four-step approach will help you understand how to act.

Work holistically

Always work on all five dimensions simultaneously. Everything you do touches all five dimensions, though not always to the same extent. Working holistically means inviting all perspectives to shape you. It means ensuring that all voices are heard, including those of the next generations that your work will touch.

Work with potential

Every place, every organization, and every being has potential. In our work, we can either cultivate or diminish that potential. We are not used to looking for that potential, so to work with it is an invitation to learn and sense the infinite possibilities that are given in every situation.

Work with guidance

We are embedded in infinite intelligence, and that intelligence is here to support and guide us. Unlike us, this intelligence sees the big picture and is willing to share that with us. Working with guidance means we leave our ego, old beliefs, patterns, and ideas behind, to be guided by our inner voice, which is connected to infinite intelligence.

Work efficiently

Nothing in the universe is either useless or extra; there’s no “should” or “could be”. We do what’s necessary, no more and no less.

Listening: the most important quality

Acting accordingly means going with the flow and doing what’s necessary. It’s not about planning. The essential quality for that is listening: listening to your self and not to the radio station of your ego, listening to the moment and not thinking about tomorrow or yesterday, listening to nature and presence instead of what’s in it for us, listening to infinite intelligence instead of believing we already know everything.

We have to practice and foster that listening. It’s a lifelong practice; meditation and bodywork can support us. It demands us to empty ourselves. Only if our minds are empty can we listen and receive. Only by leaving all those ideas, philosophies, and mental models behind can we open up to the abundant presence we are already living within.

So, if you want to take action, start by listening.

Read the whole series “The Chance of Our Lifetime”. The opening two parts described the crises we are navigating and illustrated the change we could create. The third section explain how to achieve that change.

1. What is it that we are facing?

2. What extraordinary opportunities lie within our situation?

3. What actions must we take to seize those opportunities and solve the challenges?

This is the first text in a series covering these three aspects and offering a path towards resilience, thriving, and the creation of a humanity at one with nature.

Troubled times lie ahead. Many of our self-inflicted problems have now surfaced, and this will increase further. But what does that mean in concrete terms? What lies behind words like “polycrises” or “climate crisis”? While some upheavals are already visible, our vocabulary and our shared understanding of crises often leave us without a clear picture of what’s to come.

We need to be courageous and bold in our actions. This starts with having a clear understanding of our current situation. Essentially, there are five dynamics we have to face.

I Climatic and ecological dynamics are uncontrollable

A climate that remained relatively stable for over 10,000 years has given us the illusion that we can understand and control the environment and nature. We believed we could alter nature without facing any consequences. But now we realize that’s not so.

Sciences talks a lot about tipping points we might reach or have crossed already. Ecological systems have such tipping points, where the status quo collapses and the system becomes something different. However…

• we do not know where the tipping points are and when we are crossing them;

• what happens after crossing a tipping point is unknown and unpredictable;

• the whole Earth is one interconnected and interrelated structure, and crossing one tipping point will enforce or create dynamics we cannot know, control, or predict.

Due to climate change and ecological destruction, we must face dynamics that will alter and transform our societies. We can predict that this will happen and has already happened. But we cannot predict how it will unfold.

And that’s only one part of this dynamic. The social structures we’ve created over the last few centuries—including built forms like cities, networks like the economy, and societal constructs like the public domain—are not adaptive. They depend on an almost stable and predictable environment. The challenge lies not so much in the climatic and ecological shifts we face; this is simply part of life and nature, which constantly mutates, changes, and moves forward. Instead, it lies in our self-created inability to adapt to changing circumstances.

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II Technology amplifies

We are heavily relying on technology to help us navigate and resolve our self-made situation, as technology has been the force that has shaped our lives over the past centuries. However, technology won’t help. Instead, it will amplify the unpredictability of our circumstances due to three factors:

• technology drives ecological destruction, demanding energy and highly sought-after resources like rare earth metals;

• it supports and strengthens the destructive paradigms upon which our society and economy are built—paradigms that underlie our challenges;

• technology makes us more dependent. It is incredible what we can accomplish through our technological advances. However, that also means that for much of our lives, we rely on technology, its demand for energy and resources, and its ecological consequences.

An example that illustrates this point is the way our food supply relies heavily on industrialized agriculture. In the past, we grew food and plants in various climatic conditions thanks to a vast array of domesticated plants and the ability to cultivate them. This turned into a limited number of crops we grow almost everywhere, using technology, fertilizers, and fossil fuels, resulting in depleted soil and diminished biodiversity. Food production is specialized and concentrated, with only a few companies dominating the entire global market. This type of agriculture undermines local knowledge, communities, and markets, and results in food production and distribution that makes little sense.

Another example is AI. Its promises tend to be more mythical than real, and the reality it creates is disastrous. AI increases the demand for energy and sought-after resources in a technology sector that is already very resource-intensive. Instead of empowering everyone, it reinforces existing power and economic structures, often built on repression and the exploitation of both humans and nature. It aids already dominant companies in solidifying their positions. The technology is biased, perpetuating existing unjust and marginalizing social structures.

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III Politics creates crises

The second Trump administration in the U.S. reflects a dynamic that has gradually emerged around the world over the last few decades. The destructive power paradigm embedded in nearly every political system designed by humankind has created a political domain that generates crises.

• Crises, differences, tensions, and polarities within and among societies are deliberately constructed to serve as powerful vehicles for gaining and maintaining political power.

• This power is utilized to shape society and individuals, constraining them into a specific worldview rather than creating societies where everyone has agency and can thrive in their potential.

• It is also used to uphold and reinforce the existing elite, obscuring the consequences this elite has on the majority. Populism and authoritarianism simulate the notion that the governed and marginalized hold power, while simultaneously undermining participation and the rights of minorities.

• The public discourse surrounding relevant topics, decisions, and opinions is either suppressed or distorted, amplified by social media and the rise of AI.

The consequences are twofold: the public attention is drawn away from central challenges (the consequences of ecological destruction, climatic changes, social injustice) to irrelevant topics (like migration), while people are rendered small and held in social stress to rob them of their agency to change their situation profoundly.

IV We destroy our social fabric

Polarization of the public, increasingly pervasive social media usage, and the destructive effects of these phenomena on our families and neighborhoods are among the ways we undermine our social fabric. This issue starts much earlier, as we intentionally damage the biological foundation necessary for building strong relationships and communities. Primary relationships with parents are fundamental to a child’s later ability to form and maintain social bonds and responsibilities. If the first bond doesn’t exist, the latter cannot flourish. Conception, pregnancy, and birth—once a naturally guided sequence—are now technologically mediated, transforming a natural wonder into a high risk. The mother-child bond is consistently disrupted, robbing mothers of their inherent power and leaving children insecure and unanchored. This is further reinforced by societal norms that take children out of families at a very young age and place them into a system of daycares, kindergartens, and schools, based on social selection. Our educational systems deliberately undermine self-worth and the capacity for children to self-direct their lives. They are taught to conform to societal expectations instead of discovering and unleashing their inherent power and potential. The demands of our professional lives exacerbate this issue and hinder contributions to building and maintaining communities and neighborhoods. At the same time, economic forces destroy community and communal building, starting with urban architecture and extending to the monopolization and industrialization of nearly every aspect of our lives.

Individually, people may have a strong network, often globally. However, local communities are no longer places of togetherness, support, learning, and thriving, but instead places of engagement, controversy, and discourse. Many of us feel lonely and isolated.

V We get sick and addicted

Our societies are toxic^.1 We make ourselves sick through environmental pollution, social pressure, loneliness, and isolation, to name just a few ways. And this will only get worse. All four dynamics described above are sources of sickness that reinforce each other. We become ill on all levels of our lives: bodily (increases in allergies, cancer), mentally (burnout, depression), socially (polarization, violence, destruction), and spiritually (loss of self-esteem and meaning). And we become addicted—not only to drugs but also to work, violence, political power, sex, money, and consumption, as addiction can take many forms.

Our challenge in relation to these five dynamics can be summarized in three sentences: we must confront uncontrollable climatic, ecological, and societal dynamics and upheavals. Our primary methods of addressing them through technology and politics will amplify these dynamics or re-introduce their destructive effects. Simultaneously, our personal and societal capacity to adapt or cope with them decreases dramatically.

We need to be courageous, not only in facing what’s ahead but in being open and receptive to understanding that our current situation holds a tremendous gift: the path to a humanity at one with nature. This is another perspective we will discuss in the next part of this series.

Read the whole series “The Chance of Our Lifetime”. The opening two parts described the crises we are navigating and illustrated the change we could create. The third section explain how to achieve that change.

I Physical and mental resilience

Strong emotions and reactions point us to something that has not yet healed. That could be an experience that’s not fully integrated, an illness that’s suppressed instead of processed, or an aspect of our self with which we are not aligned. The more we heal ourselves and integrate all those fragmented pieces of our lives, the more resilient we become. That’s the first stage of physical and mental resilience: healing ourselves.

The second is our ability to deal with whatever shows up. Those strong emotions and reactions show up mostly in situations where we do not welcome them. The circumstances could be challenging, and we fear being overwhelmed. Being resilient is the ability to stay upright even amidst internal turmoil. It means being able to hold strong emotions in such a way that they don’t interfere with our current situation, without the need to suppress them. We contain them, and sometimes we might put them to one side until we find a quiet moment to work with and dissolve them.

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II Societal resilience

Good parties work best when you have a clear understanding of whom to invite and whom to exclude. This principle applies to your daily life as well. Everything you take in is a form of nourishment; it can be nourishing and healthy, or it can be toxic. We are living in a toxic culture, and we can only reshape our societies if we remain sane. Our technology is a significant source of stress. Not only do we have constant access to information from around the world, but this information is deliberately crafted to capture our attention and evoke strong emotions. We need to choose when and how we consume information and media, and when and how we communicate with each other. We must understand how technology and societal communication affect us and influence our actions and reactions.

III Financial resilience

The word “wealth” comes from “well”, and in its original usage it meant “well-being”, similar to the German word „Wohlstand", which literally means that everything is in good order. Thus, being wealthy and resilient means having and enjoying everything we need, no more and no less.

For most of us, money rules our lives. We either try to successfully play its game, or we attempt to avoid it because we do not want to be manipulated. We are resilient when we are the master, not the servant, and when we know how to manage money so that we can control our lives. Money is simply a means, a medium for social interaction; it’s a fundamental part of our societies and culture. Certainly, the way we have constructed it is toxic, and we need to change that. We live in a greedy culture, constantly confronted with what we might need or lack. That sense of neediness reveals our inner deprivation. Once we heal that, we can be at peace with money and its culture. And we will be able to effect change that creates a nourishing wealth culture.

III Spiritual resilience

We are an active part of the infinite intelligence in which we are all embedded. This relationship can nourish, support, and guide us if we allow it. Most often, we don’t. Sometimes, we engage in a spiritual practice that imposes a sort of obedience. At times, we hold onto the belief that we are unworthy, unimportant, deceitful, or failures. Like every living being, we are a gift—to ourselves and the world. We are here to enjoy our lives in all dimensions and aspects, even those we tend to avoid. We are unique, and we ought to unfold and explore that uniqueness. It is our true self. Only by fully embodying that self can we gain our strength. This self possesses both a bodily dimension and a spiritual one. We must appreciate and nurture both to unlock our potential.

Resilience is not a fixed state; it’s an ongoing process. It evolves as life evolves and as we change. Like everything else, it’s a path to our true selves, and the genuine nature of who we are.

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https://www.onunfamiliarground.org/p/fundamentally-resilience-is-self

Being resilient doesn’t just mean being strong and withstanding adversity. It also doesn’t mean simply being adaptable. To understand resilience more deeply, let us take the example of losing a loved one. There are times when you will face intense emotions of grief, sadness, or anger, and it will be necessary to withstand them in order to continue with the essential tasks of your life, like eating, sleeping, resting, or taking care of your children. Sometimes, it’s necessary to open yourself to those emotions in order to harness their healing power as you integrate that loss into your life. And sometimes you need to do both: withstand the emotional waves and simultaneously hold an inner space for what emerges and wants to be seen or felt. Resilience encompasses all of this, and in addition it constitutes the wisdom to act according to the needs of the situation and your place within it.

Fundamentally, what we are talking about are acts of self-care and love. Resilience doesn’t mean being strong for the purpose of showing strength, or shutting down your emotions and thoughts. On the contrary, it means going with the flow of life, as that’s the way healing happens. If you learn and practice resilience, you gain agency even in moments when you never thought it to be possible.

Self-care and resilience come with self-responsibility. It’s only available to you if you choose to live your life fully. Otherwise, you still depend on someone else. So whenever you are struggling with something, the struggle is a clear sign that you are not in charge of yourself. Take your life into your own hands. Clear your mind, and understand the decision you have to make. And then choose wisely and go on. Your strength, decisiveness, and resilience grow with every step.

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Whenever we experience a strong emotion, the goal is to simply feel it. Doing so will give the emotion chance to settle and to loosen its grip, allowing us to uncover the message that feeling carries for us.

Read on to find out ways to uncover these precious messages.

Awareness: the most essential element

Of paramount importance is an awareness of what’s happening inside us. Our first task is to direct our attention to the emotion. What do we feel? Where do we feel it? What types of stories, images, and metaphors arise that are tied to that emotion? It’s vital to cultivate a non-judgmental stance. If we judge our feelings or try to avoid them because we think they’re unpleasant, they are likely to grow stronger. However, if we accept them as they are, they will transform and fade away much more easily.

Writing: a way to learn

There are always many stories and images related to one emotion. Sensing those stories and writing them down helps us to disentangle ourselves from them and realize their true nature: they are just fiction, stories we tell ourselves, which we can re-write or simply let go.

Acceptance: the invitation to change

Our strong emotions not only tell us something about ourselves; they are also an invitation to a deep transformation. One way to deal with them is to accept that invitation and allow them to change us. That’s very different from acting on them. So, if you feel great anger, accepting the invitation doesn’t mean indulging the rage and being furious. That’s outward orientated. It means turning inward and letting that emotion transform your self.

Asking: your self is the experienced guide

Whatever emotion arises, there is always one source you can turn to: your self, your expression of the infinite intelligence we are embedded in. Simply ask what to do, wait patiently for the answer, and then act. The more you practice communicating with your self, the stronger that communication will be and the more support you can gain from that powerful source.

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If you want to read further:

How to cross the threshold into agency and encounter unfamiliar ground.

Finding the power inside

The three essentials for working with emotions

I The main sources of polarization

The first: our inability to connect with each other

Connecting with each other and maintaining nourishing relationships, even amidst differences and tension, is a social ability rooted in biology. We have deliberately destroyed that foundation to such an extent that we can consider this the emergence of a new kind of humanity.1

The basis of all our social abilities is the primary relationship between mother and child. A child must be attached and held closely from the beginning of life in order to bond, build trust, relate, and connect with others while simultaneously developing a strong sense of self and personality. However, this primary relationship is disrupted from the outset because we have altered the naturally proven processes of pregnancy and birth, allowing them to be shaped by technology. Giving birth is no longer the wonder and gift it once was; it has become a high-risk event that robs women of their power and self-empowerment, leading them into dependency and significant insecurity, which causes stress for both the child and the mother. The result is the gradual diminishing of the biological structures for relating, bonding, and joy, which continue to decline from generation to generation.

We are amping this up with two other dynamics. The first one is our educational systems, which are built on fragmentation and which undermine self-esteem, self-leadership, and agency. We turn our children into unstable adults who seek support from peers who are equally unstable, fostering a climate of loneliness, isolation, violence, and insecurity.

The second one is technology, particularly social media, which acts as a simulation of communication that ultimately lacks personal and intimate contact with others and oneself. In highly developed countries in particular, we are able to maintain our lives without any physical contact, thanks to online meeting tools and automated delivery services. Everything is only one click away.

The second: our political systems and their power dynamics.

All our political structures are organized around power, with gaining and maintaining power as the central goal of all participants. Since the end of the last century, political parties have used certain issues, especially "migration", to gain attention and political momentum. The method has always been the same: first, create a "crisis". Second, use this "crisis" to exert pressure on political competitors and shape societal discourses. There’s no need for that "crisis" to be real or backed by facts. The effectiveness of this method lies in the narratives surrounding the "crisis"; it is based on psychological fears, the competitive nature of the political system, and the media's hunger for news. The "crisis" is employed to create an "us vs. them" mentality, using the marginalization of a specific group to define political followers by identity rather than by political issues, in order to gain popularity. Once a party or leader gains power, they employ legal and administrative strategies to solidify their position: political adversaries are persecuted, democratic rights and the rights of minorities are undermined, unwanted cultures and communities are suppressed, and the media is brought into line. This development is leveraged by the same technological advancements that have amplified our inability to connect. The rise of social media has shifted the political discourse to one of fragmentation, isolation, and the pursuit of attention, moving away from any semblance of dialogue or genuine listening to one another, preventing the exchange of diverse arguments.

We have two dynamics that are closely connected and reinforce each other. One is the decline of our ability to create and maintain strong relationships, build communities, and connect with one another. The other is the use of a constructed identity and manufactured crises to gain political and media power. Both dynamics exacerbate our current challenges and simultaneously leave us without agency, without the power to create or resolve our situation.

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II How to move beyond a polarized society?

First, we must be clear that we are in it for the long haul when it comes to healing our societies. Our polarization is a symptom of deep dysfunctional structures and dynamics that permeate all levels of humanity. Confronting and overcoming those dynamics will take a lot of time and effort. A few essential things will help us achieve this.

1. We need to be aware of our own tendencies

Polarization is based on mental patterns and beliefs, and it has a strong physiological impact. We can’t heal polarization if we carry a polarized heart or if we follow the same patterns of "us vs. them". We need to become resilient and strong, and gain the ability to lead ourselves and others.

2. We need to learn how to connect

We all lack the ability to bond, and we all risk being distracted and disturbed by technology. Only a few of us have had truly fulfilling and nurturing childhoods. So, we have to learn to bond, to get in touch with ourselves, and to heal our own wounds if we haven’t properly taken care of ourselves.

3. We need to understand that polarization is a fiction

Yes, polarization is a reality, but it’s a constructed one, based on fiction. If we think and act as if it exists, we will foster it; there’s no way around it. We can only overcome polarization if we simultaneously accept it as a given and do not attach to it, instead acting from paradigms that are free from polarization.

4. We should play our own game, by our own rules

Polarization is a symptom, not the crisis itself. If we want to heal polarization, we need to be clear about what we want to create. We particularly need to understand what kind of communities we want to build. They define the new paradigms that we must establish from the beginning. Those paradigms enable us to create our own rules instead of taking part in the games led by others.

5. Change political discourses and decisions

This is the first of three fundamental shifts we need to create: we require a new way to govern ourselves and a different form of discourse regarding the societal issues that matter to us and how we will address them.

6. Change the way we give birth to our children

That’s the second shift. We need to regain our sovereignty over pregnancy, birth, and childhood. We need our women to be powerful, to understand that they are empowered to give birth and raise their children, and to bond properly.

7. Change the way we raise our children and youngsters

The third shift focuses on raising our children. Trusting and allowing them to guide their learning and development is essential. This approach is the only way for them to discover and realize their potential, strength, and capacity to create significant changes.

8. Build communities on diversity and differences

Polarization is built on the idea of otherness, and every kind of community carries the seed of otherness simply because there’s always a "we" and an "other". Communities need to include and exclude; otherwise, they won’t work. So, if we create and restore our communities, we must focus on how we define whom to include and exclude, and we must stay open and adaptable.

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Emotions have two sides. The first is the one we see and feel; it’s the one we react to. We feel something, we judge that feeling (“it’s pleasant/it’s awful”), and we can connect many stories that are tied to that feeling. So when an emotion arises, there’s a whole world happening inside of us that shapes how we react and act upon that feeling.

Then, there is the other side, the hidden treasure of that feeling. It could be a former experience, a talent, or a source of power that you have chosen to suppress. Either way, every feeling is a gateway to your true self. To find the entrance, you need to cut through a whole bunch of sensations and surface reactions that are bound to that feeling.

In order to break free of those reactions, three things are essential:

1. You have to gain access and feel your feelings. We often avoid feeling our emotions because they can be unpleasant, and we fear them. However, it is essential to feel them and to recognize how they manifest in our bodies. This awareness alone can transform them and lead to healing.

2. You have to develop endurance in order to hold them. Feelings can be strong and intense. We must endure, remaining with our emotions for as long as they need to dissolve and fade away. This is simply a matter of practice; the more we practice, the better we become and the more likely we are to resolve difficult feelings effectively.

3. You have to find ways to work with them. Endurance and strength allow you to hold your feelings, but to uncover their true meaning you have to work with them. You have to find a method that allows you to tap into their treasure. The next letter is about that.

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With that in mind, ask yourself:

What would happen, if you do what you are longing to do?

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That’s why we need to become comfortable with uncertainty. Only then can we realize the huge opportunities that lie on unfamiliar ground.

There are a few ways to do that:

Rationalize your fear

Assess what can truly happen. Then, ask yourself if you are able to deal with it. The answer will always be yes. You have been equipped since birth with everything you need for this challenge.

Work with resistance

Figure out which beliefs and ideas hold you back. Understand them, dissolve them. And then move ahead.

Work from vision and faith

Open up to the dream you carry. Allow it to take shape in your mind and let its power work with your fear. Return to your dream and hand your fears over whenever that fear arises.

Discover the uncertain

Mark a space in your room. Call it "the uncertain". And then discover it by simply walking through it. If there's a place you are drawn to, go. Try to cross the borders. Let yourself be surprised by what will show up.

Uncover yourself

Get in touch with yourself. Ask your fear what it wants to tell you about yourself. Be curious and allow your inner self to talk to you. It may take a while for the answer to arrive, but it will be a powerful one.

Ask for guidance

The universe is here to support you. Hand over your fears and sorrows and ask for guidance. Be grateful for the inner transformation that will arise.

You’ll need a boat to cross a river. But it won’t help you on the mountain on the other side of the shore. Every part of your journey equips you with what you need. All you must do is: trust.

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But transformations occur by themselves; they carry an inherent intelligence. We participate in the transformation and shape it as much as we are shaped by it. What’s essential to understand is that this inherent intelligence unfolds through the actions of people, and can only manifest to the extent that we allow it. To be able to do so, we need to extend our understanding of transformation and change in different ways.

Are we self-empowered?

Only if we have inner freedom can we create agency in transformation and in our work with others. The degree of our inner freedom defines our impact and influence on others. That’s why transformation asks for leadership of a different kind: self-leadership, which empowers us to overcome the old power paradigms.

Are we aware of our mental models?

We always carry world models, and these understandings shape how we perceive, think, and act; they drive our transformational work. We can’t eliminate them as they are deeply rooted in our biology. We can only lessen their impact by making them transparent and working with them.

One such model is our theory of change, and our true transformational power comes when we can set it aside for a moment and perceive what the organization and its transformation truly need. That leads to another understanding of facilitation, one that works with and in the given moment.

Are we able to work with uncertainty?

We walk on unfamiliar ground. There is power and creativity in the unknown, and to harness it we must work with uncertainty – even when that uncertainty feels overwhelming. We must seek guidance from the infinite intelligence in which we are embedded. We can learn and practice that, but we must take action. Otherwise, our deep desire for security and support will take over and re-establish old patterns.

Do we understand what it means to be embedded?

Our organizations are embedded and interconnected with everyone and everything they touch. So are we. Transformations are only regenerative and healthy if they respect and integrate this interconnectedness. Therefore, we need to create spaces for those who are not present but are equally affected by our work.

This is part of a series on organization and transformation:

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To create organizations that behave differently, we need to apply a different understanding of transformation. This differs from the current understanding of organizational development in three important ways:

1. Every transformation unfolds on its own. We think we can initiate and shape change, but in reality transformation occurs by itself. Seeing ourselves as the great creators leads to more harm than good.

2. Every transformation possesses its own intelligence, which we can either support or suppress.

3. Every transformation is unique and needs to be treated that way. It carries its own manual for us to study. Assuming control through tried and tested methods undermines the uniqueness of the organization and its transformation. This contributes to a fundamental loss of social diversity.

II

If we view each transformation as unique and possessing inherent intelligence, we must recognize that its power can only be unleashed through agency. We will realize the transformation's full impact if we establish agency in at least three central aspects:

I Agency is the goal

Human nature can express itself fully only if one has the agency to do so. The more people are self-empowered and able to tap into their potential, the more aligned we are with nature and capable of restoring a healthy relationship with it. As such, organizational transformations must be oriented toward the agency of all affected by it.

II The transformation must be based on agency

The paradigms that govern a process define its results. If we want to create agency, our approach to transformation must be based on agency.

III Transformation must facilitate agency

If we do not go beyond participation and establish agency in our transformational work, we remain rooted in old paradigms. Agency is a source of creativity, power, and strength, and we need all of this for the times and changes ahead.

This is part of a series on organization and transformation:

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The crises we face are also a result of our organizations, how they operate, and how we understand and shape them.

We need to build organizations differently, focusing on at least three essential aspects:

I

Organizations are a space for humans to work together, profoundly shaping the life of everyone associated with them, from partners to clients, customers, and small producers at the end of the supply chain. Our organizations are usually based on outdated paradigms. They uphold the same destructive power structures we have to face in society. They are not empowering people, neither employees nor their clients. They are part of that social fabric that fundamentally holds us back from changing society.

Instead, organizations must be organized around agency. The space they create must be a space of empowerment, supporting everyone to realize their potential.

II

Organizations shape society on various levels, from family life to political governance. But by underestimating their own role in society, they contribute to dysfunction, isolation, and the destruction of our social fabric.

To create a social fabric that nourishes people and helps them thrive, we must reshape our organizations so that they understand the role they play and work collaboratively with all the communities they touch.

III

Organizations rely on resources to sustain their operations and produce products and services. By seeing resources as things we can extract, use, and discard, we fail to appreciate the inherent value of the natural world around us. This extractive mindset is at odds with nature, and it is one of the central causes of ecological harm.

We must reshape how our organizations interact with nature, shifting from exploitation to regeneration, and from commodification to respect. →

II How to build different organizations

The way we perceive and understand organizations defines how they evolve and how we harness them.

Before we rework our organizations, we must acknowledge how their current forms emerged. Destructive and inadequate thinking leads to destructive organizations. Instead of relying on blueprints and best practices, we must recognize that each organization is unique and needs to be treated accordingly. This is the starting point for a new approach to creating, leading, and transforming organizations.

This is part of a series on organization and transformation:

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