Building communities is about listening and learning, not imposing our ideas

Transformation just happens naturally. We are here to support and further the transformation, and our main task is to listen and learn.

I remember how my colleague was so moved by the idea she had discovered... Having just finished a course on inner work and outer impact, she was thrilled to bring that approach into her community. She found a well-located space with a great atmosphere, part of an already existing transformational network, and she was full of excitement. But no one showed up.

I could share numerous stories like this one, including my own tales of great expectations and equally great disappointments. We are all seeking profound societal change and a great ecological turnaround, and we have many ideas about how that should happen. When our attempts fail, it happens for a reason: life always teaches us. But what, exactly?

I followed that question, pondering my own experiences. The answer was straightforward: my past attempts failed due to a misunderstanding of transformation and our role in it: we are not here to create transformation. Transformation just happens naturally. We are here to support and further the transformation, and our main task is to listen and learn.

The art of transformational listening

Listening is the deliberate act of thrusting aside all our internal occupations and opening ourselves to the unheard.

We turn towards ourselves, cutting through the noise of our thinking, judging, and reacting, to get right to the source of our emotions. We are present to what wants to be realized through us. Listening, we seek to discover what life is asking of us.

By doing so, we are clearing our internal space. That allows us to listen to the infinite intelligence, understand our overarching duty and the imminent task. We create space for the unknown, and be able to channel our learning into our environment and our community. We have to be clear and empty before we look to the world to change.

Transformative learning

We can transform everything if we allow ourselves to be transformed. That’s the art of transformative learning. In the case of community-building, we have to listen to the community in all its dimensions to perceive what’s there:

• What wants to be?

• What needs to be faced?

• What’s ignored, suppressed, or marginalized?

We have to turn towards the difficulties, the muck, and not shy away. We have to turn toward things we do not understand, listening to the question life is asking us, and patiently wait for the answer.

I have seen people fail too often, like my colleague, acting with great commitment and care, frustrated that things didn’t unfold as she expected. Life is clear and precise in its answers. It shows us whether we are on the right track, listening carefully, able to read the signs and act with integrity. If things do not turn out that way, it’s not time to drop out and turn away. It’s time to stay, hold all those difficult emotions, and learn to listen. Eventually, we’ll get it right.