Polarization: what it is, why it is, and what to do about it

Polarization is one of the most pressing challenges we are facing, and it is spreading globally. We can overcome it if we understand its roots and act with courage.

Polarization may be one of the most difficult things we currently have to face. It’s a global phenomenon, and yet it is simultaneously highly individual. Each country is affected in its own way. But no matter where it rears its head, polarization has common roots, an awareness of which can guide our response to the issue. The most important thing we must recognize is that polarization is merely a symptom, and not a sickness. It leads us to the root causes we have to uncover and resolve – those underlying dynamics and paradigms, and the contradictions they carry.

I The main sources of polarization

The first: our inability to connect with each other

Connecting with each other and maintaining nourishing relationships, even amidst differences and tension, is a social ability rooted in biology. We have deliberately destroyed that foundation to such an extent that we can consider this the emergence of a new kind of humanity.¹

The basis of all our social abilities is the primary relationship between mother and child. A child must be attached and held closely from the beginning of life in order to bond, build trust, relate, and connect with others while simultaneously developing a strong sense of self and personality. However, this primary relationship is disrupted from the outset because we have altered the naturally proven processes of pregnancy and birth, allowing them to be shaped by technology. Giving birth is no longer the wonder and gift it once was; it has become a high-risk event that robs women of their power and self-empowerment, leading them into dependency and significant insecurity, which causes stress for both the child and the mother. The result is the gradual diminishing of the biological structures for relating, bonding, and joy, which continue to decline from generation to generation.

We are amping this up with two other dynamics. The first one is our educational systems, which are built on fragmentation and which undermine self-esteem, self-leadership, and agency. We turn our children into unstable adults who seek support from peers who are equally unstable, fostering a climate of loneliness, isolation, violence, and insecurity.

The second one is technology, particularly social media, which acts as a simulation of communication that ultimately lacks personal and intimate contact with others and oneself. In highly developed countries in particular, we are able to maintain our lives without any physical contact, thanks to online meeting tools and automated delivery services. Everything is only one click away.

The second: our political systems and their power dynamics.

All our political structures are organized around power, with gaining and maintaining power as the central goal of all participants. Since the end of the last century, political parties have used certain issues, especially "migration", to gain attention and political momentum. The method has always been the same: first, create a "crisis". Second, use this "crisis" to exert pressure on political competitors and shape societal discourses. There’s no need for that "crisis" to be real or backed by facts. The effectiveness of this method lies in the narratives surrounding the "crisis"; it is based on psychological fears, the competitive nature of the political system, and the media's hunger for news. The "crisis" is employed to create an "us vs. them" mentality, using the marginalization of a specific group to define political followers by identity rather than by political issues, in order to gain popularity. Once a party or leader gains power, they employ legal and administrative strategies to solidify their position: political adversaries are persecuted, democratic rights and the rights of minorities are undermined, unwanted cultures and communities are suppressed, and the media is brought into line. This development is leveraged by the same technological advancements that have amplified our inability to connect. The rise of social media has shifted the political discourse to one of fragmentation, isolation, and the pursuit of attention, moving away from any semblance of dialogue or genuine listening to one another, preventing the exchange of diverse arguments.

We have two dynamics that are closely connected and reinforce each other. One is the decline of our ability to create and maintain strong relationships, build communities, and connect with one another. The other is the use of a constructed identity and manufactured crises to gain political and media power. Both dynamics exacerbate our current challenges and simultaneously leave us without agency, without the power to create or resolve our situation.

II How to move beyond a polarized society?

First, we must be clear that we are in it for the long haul when it comes to healing our societies. Our polarization is a symptom of deep dysfunctional structures and dynamics that permeate all levels of humanity. Confronting and overcoming those dynamics will take a lot of time and effort. A few essential things will help us achieve this.

1. We need to be aware of our own tendencies

Polarization is based on mental patterns and beliefs, and it has a strong physiological impact. We can’t heal polarization if we carry a polarized heart or if we follow the same patterns of "us vs. them". We need to become resilient and strong, and gain the ability to lead ourselves and others.

2. We need to learn how to connect

We all lack the ability to bond, and we all risk being distracted and disturbed by technology. Only a few of us have had truly fulfilling and nurturing childhoods. So, we have to learn to bond, to get in touch with ourselves, and to heal our own wounds if we haven’t properly taken care of ourselves.

3. We need to understand that polarization is a fiction

Yes, polarization is a reality, but it’s a constructed one, based on fiction. If we think and act as if it exists, we will foster it; there’s no way around it. We can only overcome polarization if we simultaneously accept it as a given and do not attach to it, instead acting from paradigms that are free from polarization.

4. We should play our own game, by our own rules

Polarization is a symptom, not the crisis itself. If we want to heal polarization, we need to be clear about what we want to create. We particularly need to understand what kind of communities we want to build. They define the new paradigms that we must establish from the beginning. Those paradigms enable us to create our own rules instead of taking part in the games led by others.

5. Change political discourses and decisions

This is the first of three fundamental shifts we need to create: we require a new way to govern ourselves and a different form of discourse regarding the societal issues that matter to us and how we will address them.

6. Change the way we give birth to our children

That’s the second shift. We need to regain our sovereignty over pregnancy, birth, and childhood. We need our women to be powerful, to understand that they are empowered to give birth and raise their children, and to bond properly.

7. Change the way we raise our children and youngsters

The third shift focuses on raising our children. Trusting and allowing them to guide their learning and development is essential. This approach is the only way for them to discover and realize their potential, strength, and capacity to create significant changes.

8. Build communities on diversity and differences

Polarization is built on the idea of otherness, and every kind of community carries the seed of otherness simply because there’s always a "we" and an "other". Communities need to include and exclude; otherwise, they won’t work. So, if we create and restore our communities, we must focus on how we define whom to include and exclude, and we must stay open and adaptable.

1. Odent, M. (2014) Childbirth and the Evolution of Homo Sapiens. Pinter & Martin Publishers.