Finding the power inside
How limitations help us to step into our power.
We are in the local park. My six-year-old tries to climb up a tree. There’s a branch right above him. His arms are too short to reach. It’s only a few centimeters, but too far for him to succeed.
Life is direct. It shows us where we are and where we are not. "Reality is what it is. If it were different, it would be different," my Zen master used to say. From the very beginning of our existence, we are confronted by our limitations and gifted with the ability to overcome them. A child tries until it stands on its feet for the first time, as my son will try and try until one day he catches that branch. Until then, he doesn’t see this as a failure, although he can be frustrated. It’s the challenge of life and he can go with it.
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Some of our limitations are given, the rhythm of the seasons, our physical shape, and death. But most of the limitations we are confronted with are made, and predominantly self-made. Those limitations are precious. They show us how to gain agency and power. We only need to unlock them, and doing so is a simple process:
We need to understand limitations in general.
We need to understand our specific limitations in a given situation.
We need to use and work with those limitations to unlock their wisdom and the power they carry.
Let’s get deeper into it.
1
You can do everything you can dream of, and you have everything you need in order to do this. The universe doesn’t err. Your true dreams are always linked to your talents and abilities, and to what you have to unfold in this life.
2
Our limitations are learned. They aren’t real. Rather, they create our reality. We adopt these limitations by internalizing beliefs, language, culture, and even movements from our parents, attempting to cope with challenging situations, and repeating the same stories. It made sense back then; sometimes, learning a limitation was necessary to protect our inner selves, allowing an ability or quality to emerge, but not yet. Over time, those habits and patterns become dysfunctional. And when the time comes, life confronts us with that specific limitation.
3
It’s not easy to be confronted and realize that we are limited. A whole range of unpleasant emotions and thoughts show up. It takes courage, calmness, and equanimity to stay upright and give oneself the space to process all those emotions and thoughts until they diminish and finally vanish. It takes time to be aware of what goes on inside of us, to feel ourselves, and to listen to our inner voice. These qualities are learnable and they increase over the time of their use. And finally, when the storm is over and the inner sight is clear, we can see and understand what we are doing to create those limitations. That’s when we can change them.
A few years ago, I had a conflict with a landlord. I wasn’t able to solve the situation as I wished, finding myself confronted with fear and locked in a crisis. Looking back at that situation closely, I realized that I used to create those crises by myself. They helped me get out of unwanted situations, as I didn't allow my self to walk away calmly. This was unpleasant. I had to realize how much energy this pattern was costing me and how I damaged important relationships only because I wasn’t able to stand up for myself.
4
I learned how to create a crisis in my family of origin. It was a way of getting attention. Sometimes it helped to shift attention away from something my parents disliked. But most of all, it helped me become an outsider. This was the most important lesson to be learned from the story of the landlord. I wasn’t an outsider, but I created a situation where I was. Once I realized that, it was easy for me to heal what needed to be healed and to dissolve the pattern. Our limitations always tell us where they come from.
After I turned away from that crisis pattern, I was not only able to solve the situation with my landlord. Surprisingly, I started to enjoy all sorts of encounters. I did not need to be an outsider anymore. I realized that I had the gift to reach out to others. And that was part of uncovering my dream of creating a space for community-based learning. Our limitations are all about our dreams, our power and our abilities. Once those limitations are solved, we are vitalized and have access to more energy (I don’t need crises anymore, so they don’t eat up my energy). But most of all, we gain access to our true self and the dreams we carry.
5
There are as many limitations as there are ways to overcome them. We can use language and imagery to uncover beliefs and paradigms. We can work with our bodies by releasing blockages, relearning proper movements, or talking and singing. Additionally, we can utilize space to explore what we need to examine. The limitation itself knows best how it should be handled, so simply ask and be patient while waiting for the answer.
6
Being patient is important for dealing with limitations. We need persistence and inner stability, which come over time. They arise by simply working. When we fall or lose track, we only need to remember and pick up the thread. So, what do you have to look at right now?